B/F is MARREID!!!!!!!!
 

I am soooo pissed! I just (well, earlier this morning) found out that the man I have been seeing for a little over a year is oh so very MARRIED!!!!


He lives in North Carolina and I in Virginia. We met when he was in VA for business, began talking and then dating. He had given me a cell number but I don't hand out my home number either so I didn't think much about it. I had no problem doing most of the visits in VA because I don't care for Charlotte and he was up here often.


After a bit he mentioned that his sister was going through a divorce and he had let her and her 4 children stay with him. Her husband had had an affair and she walked out, had no place to go and Ron had lots of room so they came there. He acted like it was about to drive him crazy with all the noise and constant chaos that I now KNEW I didn't want to go visit him.

I did get his home number from the caller id. He said that it was okay to call but at night after things had calmed down. One day when he wasn't at work I called home to check on him because I knew he was ill and she answered and said he was sleeping. The next time I talked to him I mentioned I had called and he said that I had awakened her from her sleep....she works nights.....and he had heard about it FOREVER.

We continued to see each other, were even going to get married!!!! I wonder how we would have pulled that off??? My daughter adores him....now I know why he was so good with her.... as does my family! He SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so angry!! Mostly I feel STUPID!!!!!!! I sooooooo feel up to that drive to NC now, but would just look even more stupid!!!

I want a confrontation but can't make the call. Want to tell his wife to tell the wife so he'll be hurt like I am but don't want to hurt her....he does that well enough for everyone. It had been years since I had let a man into my heart....we all know other places had an all access pass, but not my heart.....and I go and pick the biggest loser so far!!!!! Damn I just feel like exploding!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not one to air out all my personal issues like this but I so feel the need for advise. I'm not up to venting to friends or family yet. I'm not looking forward to playing the fool in this one! I sure hope someone has something to say that might help. How could he play with me for so long? How could he not care? How could he be so cruel??????????

How ANYTHING???????????????

Now I feel worse because I just noticed I posted this in the wrong place....sorry

S'ok Mellisaaa..........
((Hugs)) So sorry you feel betrayed and deceived. It won't really make anything better or worse to tell the wife. She is married to a horrid man and I am sure she knows that by now.
I am sending good thoughts and positive healing vibes to you. Feel free to pm me if ya need to talk, cry or just bitch!

Mellisaaa beating yourself up isn't the answer either. The jerk is definately isn't worth a wonderful lady as yourself. He sounds like he has done this before and is well practiced. I wish I could say the right thing to make it all better but talking with us at Pixies and looking into yourself you will get thru this. Only that jerk can tell why he did it. You need to talk it out,cry with someone, hug someone and know that we at Pixies care. If you need to talk Pm me. May not have to right answers but have big shoulders.

Mellisaaa,
I'm really very sorry to hear about what happened.
I know the old stand-by of: "You're better off without him" is of no comfort. (Although it IS true).
Some of the folks here know a little bit about my (previous) situation -suffice it to say that I have a VERY dim view of infidelity. If you feel so inclined, PM me and I'll tell you how my similar tragedy turned to eventual triumph. (I can not help but believe that the same reversal of fortune will one day happen to you...)

Mellisaaa..........I know the feeling ! I've been divorced a little over a year now................and I find out that my EXbitch has been seeing the same man (almost twice her age) for about three years now...........................at first I was pissed,but now.........he has to put up with her shit!!!!!!!!


NOT ME

Melisaaa, I am sorry to hear that he did such a thing to you and others. It is pitiful when someone (a guy or a girl) acts in such a way.

I wish I could tell you the reasoning behind his actions, but I can't. All I can say is to be thankful for small favors. You found this all out instead of him continuing to see him in this situation.

Again, sorry you had to go through all of this.

When anyone can do that to another person wether married or even in a relationship and doing it on the side,in my book is the scum of the earth.I'd wanna blow the dudes balls off !! No bastard is worth the pain. I hope you get through this and remember what goes around comes around and the lowlife will get his in the end.

I'm not sure I should comment on this because, to my eternal shame, I have Been that guy... well, almost. :o

I had a brief relationship with a woman I'd known for nearly twenty years... a case of "the grass is greener on the other side" .. well, I'm here to tell you... it ISN'T!! I have found THAT out Big Time, it has cost me everything I had,and I don't mean money; I mean self-respect, trust of my daughter, two VERY good friends and (nearly) my mum, dad & sister too!

I've been very lucky though... probably some will say luckier than I deserve, and you might be right. My ex-wife (to be) are now getting on better than we did for years, my daughter seems to have forgiven me, and my folks are talking to me again - just. Luckiest of all, I met someone who turned my life around completely.... she knows the whole story, and STILL wants me in her life. I feel very humbled by that, and I love her for it - and I tell her so every day I see her.

So, to the point.... why did I do it? Well, there was the "grass is greener" crap.......marriage seemed stale, I was bored, we'd known each other a lot of years (and had been "fuck-buddies" years before) all and none of that. The "thrill" of it too, being brutally honest.

Maybe it's the same with "your" guy Mellisaaa - only he's taken advantage of you BIG-TIME, without giving you any options. You sound to me like you would have blown him out straight away (and rightly so), which is likely why he didn't tell you - adding to the "kick", maybe? Who knows? Regarding the telling of his wife.. well, as Lilith said, she probably has a good idea what he's like, especially if he's done it before... which it sounds he has, and it would be YOU ending up feeling even worse, I reckon.

Sorry for going on, and "hi-jacking" your thread... but I mentioned this in a thread a while ago, without the detail; I just hope it gives even a little bit of insight into things for you. If it changes the way others here think of me, well it's a chance I'm willing to take.
Good luck with everything Mellisaaa, and don't let the b*stard get you down!

DM


Msg for Celticangel ... if you see this babe, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!!

Melissaaa---------the world is full of folk who care only for their own needs and wants--with no reguard for the people they hurt. I was broken last year by the man I thought I loved------not only did he hurt me---but also my 2 kids----a fact that I still feel spitting mad about!----------I am over him now---thanks to friends and family ---------and the man I am seeing now makes me glad that the ex is out of my life-------cause he is the best thing that has happened to me in recent years(apart from the kids!) and makes me feel worthwhile---------------the right man for u is out there------difficult bit is seperating the bad ones-----cause they seem so plauseable-------from the ones who will give u the support u deserve---------good luck and lots of hugs!!


Dm------straight back at u!!!!!!!xxxxxx

Thanks babe........... and thank YOU Lilith ;) xx

Damn
 

I feel bad for you I know that does not make it any better but I do.

You sound like such a nice person and people like him know it, once I saw a girl for ages who I loved worshipped the ground she walked on and she knew it, she split up with her boyfriend (so she told me) and I was head over heels, I introduced her to my friend my parents and all the time this guy was seeing her, god I feel bad about it now...I don't hate her I pity her.

Now I have love shes perfect she makes me laugh, shes beautiful and I am married to her.

I am not saying that last bit to make you feel worst just to let you know I've felt pain and you must be now but leave it well alone, come throught it you sound so caring and considerate you're little girl does not need someone like that in her life, I hope and trust you will find love and it will seek you out love does it finds the kind but it lets them know what the pain of hurting someone is like you will never wanted to have made someone feel how you feel now, don't squash it remember it and when you find your love it will seem all the better.

Love is on its way I know

take care I am sorry if this message does not help but It was honestly what I believe

Mellisaaa,

The person who invents a bullshit detector will be richer than Bill Gates.

In the meantime, remember that the shit is an indictment of him, not

a shame for you.

There are genuine people out there, but it's up to you to sort the

turds from the good ones.

Luck.

Oh my goodness! I can understand your rage. He actually lied for an entire year! I feel for you. I don't have any great advice, sadly. When you feel angry, you could go for long walks to try and calm down.

As you can tell by our reactions, this guy is a jerk of high proportions and most people aren't this deceptive.

First I want to say kudos to dm383 for coming forward with his story which might possibly shed some light on the "Why did he do it?" aspect. It's difficult to admit the low times in your life.

I just want to add to what others have said... Telling the wife will most likely do no good because, A.) She probably already knows he is a piece of crap. Or B.) She has no idea who you are and won't want to believe you so she will be in denial about the whole thing. If option A is true, she probably will just accept it. I feel for you Mellissaaa, as I've had my own experience with the evil spawn of satan girlfriend that couldn't tell the truth, period. What goes around comes around.... and he will reap what he has sown. Tell him off, from long distance, tell him it's over, and walk away without loooking back. (I know, easier said than done.) Good luck, I will pray for you. Hey, things could be worse... imagine if you didn't have Pixies?! :eek: