Quote:
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Originally Posted by jaybee from UK
...Would they become more sympathetic with the male sex drive?
Too many women are either terrified of men, or annoyed at their lustful attentions. Too few actually CELEBRATE it, openly and joyously, except in bed.
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Dang, boy. That's interesting. Have you done this experiment? Been a woman, I mean. Cause you seem damned sure of what our responses, motivations and problems are. If one of my colleagues unabashedly pops a woody while we're talking shop, my first thought is that he is more interested in my tits than my opinions...and yes, that's both insulting and demeaning. I wouldn't get him fired for it, but I sure as hell wouldn't be impressed. And I'd worry, if he had influence over the course of my career. Any time people with influence over us aren't taking us seriously as professionals, it's a time to worry.
If he gets an errection, and he IS abashed by it, then maybe I'll be flattered. I'm lucky to be that confident of my professional abilities. I wouldn't judge my sister-friend down the hall if she were threatened by it, though. Not because men hold some sort of physical power over us (that girl benches more than I weigh, she's not afraid of much physically), but because they hold disporportionate professional power. Women are still bizarrely vulnerable to sexual stereotyping in the workplace. Get known as a slut, or a cock tease, or a frigid bitch...hell, develop ANY sort of sexual identity in the workplace, and you're not taken seriously any more. A guy getting a hard on in my presence tells me I'm in danger of getting one of those titles.
It has nothing to do with sex. That's the problem. It's not whether the guy is good looking or not (sorry, Aqua...but I seriously disagree with you there). It's not whether he's higher up the ladder than me. It's got nothing to do with whether I would find a comfy closet with him should the same situation arise (pardon the pun) at a social gathering. It's an insecurity that runs bone deep, even if we're doing better than our mothers did. It's not that we don't understand the poor guy who just can't help it...it's that we fear that as soon as sees us as sexual, that's all we are.
Maybe your guy gets fired. A woman who flaunts her sexuality loses her power just as surely. Lou's entirely right, a woman's nipples showing may just mean she's cold. But let's run with your example, because it's a misinterpretation most men are going to make. Some girl spills her drink and then sits in front of a fan. Her nipples pop, and so do the guy's eyes. Does she get fired? Probably not. But now her tits are a topic of conversation over the urinal. Hey did you see so and so's nips. Man, she was REALLY turned on. I wonder who for. I wonder if it was X, he was missing after lunch, what'cha want to bet they were christening the new supply closet. I didn't know they were going out. They're not. Man, she slept with him just like that? I dunno who she slept with, but she's obviously got the hots for someone. Sitting at her desk getting all wet over someone here, damn she's nasty.
And the next time our heroine turns up at their section to tell them she's got a new idea for the marketing campaign or defense arguments or treatment protocol, they're all staring at her tits and wondering if they're the object of her affection. She doesn't hit on them, so they assume it's someone else, possibly her boss (after all, she's only in it for the power right? That's why it's not them). Within a week, the word around the building is that she's sleeping with her boss and THAT'S why she got her last promotion. The folks who decide on her NEXT promotion get wind of the rumor, and now she's not as likely to get it. Why? Because they don't trust her work, she's obviously just sleeping her way to the top.
Go ahead, tell me it'll never happen. Tell you what, I'll race you. It'll never happen. At least, not exactly like that. But variations on the theme DO happen. I've got a friend who's brilliant, but she's also beautiful. She wouldn't sleep with a guy who was hitting on her at work, so now the word in the department is that she's frigid (her RAF bf makes it hard to call her a lesbian any more, but that one was going around for a while). Does it matter? It shoudln't, even if it were true. But all the time spent talking about her frigidity is time NOT spent talking about her stellar work. People take a dislike to her without ever meeting her, because the hear the rumors first. And the administration consider her a trouble maker, because all those rumors must come from somewhere.
The real poison comes in when I admit that it's both men and women who are hassling women with sexual identities at work. Still, it doesn't change the fact that it just isn't your libido's we're worried about. Truthfully. It's our reputations, however frustrating irrational we find it. We're very protective of our professional identities, and shamelessly sexualizing us in the work place takes that away from us. Me? I wear sensible shoes and conservative clothing. I don't wear low cut shirts, and I don't vamp my hair. I don't flirt at work. I made that mistake once with a guy who I knew wouldn't take it seriously. He didn't, it was someone at the NEXT TABLE that started the rumors. So now I leave a whole chunk of my personality behind. Yeah, I've given up something, so I don't feel all that sorry for guys who have to behave professionally around me.
And if you'd spent a month as a woman, you'd have known that already. Course, you could've spared yourself the month...and just asked us instead of assuming we were threatened by your need for sex.
G
Hybrid Mode
